It’s not easy for everyone to remember where they came from. You grow up, leave home, become a huge star – why look back? Why remember that you were once a small fry in a big, scary world?

At the time of Shrek 2’s (the movie) release, licensed games were viewed with nothing but disdain. Then the Shrek game arrived. One year later Activision followed up with Shrek SuperSlam, a game that was, as I wrote back in November 2005, “slaphappy fun for everyone.” These are two of the titles that helped restore our faith in licensed products.

If you love either of those games as much as I do, this review is going to be a grim read. While Shrek the Third’s predecessors were polished, laugh-out-loud hilarious, and filled with replay value, his latest adventure is not filled with anything except technical (camera, graphics, etc.) and mechanical (gameplay, controls, etc.) problems. Shrek the Third’s clunky controls, unbearable repetition, and out-of-whack angles can only lead to one conclusion: this game can’t remember where it came from.

Same Idea, New Formula

Shrek 2 was brilliant for its use of four, simultaneously playable characters. Rather than provide a direct continuation of that innovative feature, Shrek the Third separates the characters for a more intimate (albeit traditional) gameplay experience. You control the series’ heroes, including Shrek, Donkey, Puss in Boots, and Fiona.

As with the previous game, Shrek is a big and bold fighter whose fingertip dwarfs the size of his brain. In other words, he’s not the sharpest knife on the cutting board. His fist-pummeling force more than makes up for that, allowing him to pound enemies like a baker kneading dough. Donkey still runs and kicks like a feverish – well, like a feverish donkey. Fiona’s moves are moderately amusing. She borrows her Matrix-style kung fu from Shrek 2 (and perhaps the new movie?). She has also taken a cue from Princess Peach by finding a way to float after falling off a ledge.

Puss in Boots is a great video-game character. His sword-heavy attacks are faster and more fun to execute than Shrek’s sluggish moves. Which is where the game’s problems begin to unfold, but is nowhere near the point where they end.

The D-pad controls are horrendous. I’m not sure what compelled me to try the D-pad – I usually use the analog stick (so long as the game supports it). Using the D-pad caused my character to take a beating. Not once, but several times. The reason is because it lacks responsiveness. Whereas the analog stick works fairly well, allowing me to move wherever I please, the D-pad is stiff and requires you to firmly press and hold a direction before Shrek will move. Even then he and his comrades may stand still. It’s the weirdest thing. I’ve been playing PS2 games since the day the console was released and I have never encountered this kind of a problem before.

Gameplay comes in two forms: button mash and item collection. You mash to defeat the continuous stream of enemies flowing into each stage. Items are collected on a necessary or just-for-fun basis. If there’s a locked door that needs to be entered, you can bet that an item is required to make the knob turn (a key or switch will do the trick).

This sounds fine and dandy, and is generally acceptable (though not necessarily ideal) when a game properly executes these elements. However, while Shrek 2 and SuperSlam contained great control schemes and seamless analog movement, Shrek the Third is stiff and unintuitive. You can perform all the moves you’d expect to perform in a Shrek game. There are also new special attacks that can be unleashed after charging a character’s power meter. But no single aspect feels smooth or natural. When combined, the feeling only worsens. Couple that with the gameplay style (mash buttons, collect items, repeat) and you have a less-than-stellar experience.

Unfortunately, the problems have not come to a close. I’d love to wrap up the review right now, say farewell, and hope that you find some enjoyment from this game but before I go, I must warn you about the camera mechanics. Or more appropriately, camera glitches. Like its predecessors, Shrek the Third’s camera is controlled by the stage. The view changes as you move through each area. At least that’s what it is supposed to do. In reality the camera jerks frequently, slingshots in various directions, and occasionally slams in and out of place without warning. When I say slam, I mean it – the camera lunges back and forth as if it can’t keep up with what the player is doing.

Worst of all, I can’t figure out why. Shrek was such a great game series. This title doesn’t feel like it came from the same place as the others. It’s not funny or visually interesting (the character models in Shrek 2 and SuperSlam were far superior). And the gameplay is too problematic to enjoy.

Gameplay: 4.6
Technologically challenged and devoid of satisfaction, Shrek the Third is a disaster of a sequel.

Graphics: 3.0
Ugly, blocky, and poorly animated. Shrek the Third’s graphics are about three years below the quality of Shrek 2, which was released three years ago. Confused? Me too. I was under the impression that graphics were supposed to improve as a console ages. Not worsen.The mouth movements alone prevented the graphics score from achieving anything higher than a 5. That might not be the case for a game with generic characters. But this is Shrek! Big-budget DreamWorks-created Shrek! Why shouldn’t the game be equally high in budget and look and play beautifully? After all, the last two Shrek games looked and played beautifully.

Sound: 4.0
The voice acting isn’t terrible. That’s the only thing worth saying.

Difficulty: Easy
Enemies are too easy for words .

Concept: 3.0
Just another clunky beat-‘em-up. There is nothing amusing about the story or interesting about the presentation.

Multiplayer: 5.0
The shooting gallery mini-games are alright, but the rest – while less technologically flawed than the single-player campaign – are not very fun.

Overall: 4.6
If it sounds like Shrek the Third has nothing but problems, that’s because there isn’t much else to the game. Whereas Shrek 2 and Shrek SuperSlam were joyous, Shrek the Third is not.