Beat-'em-ups aren't what they used to be. Back in the day (and when I say "day" I mean that wonderful time when arcades made a profit), developers could create simple button-mashers knowing that the average gamer would only play for 5 to 10 minutes. Fifty cents never went that far, and thanks to a fairly cheap difficulty setting, each game was guaranteed to be short. This was done on purpose to get gamers to continue pumping quarters into the machine. It was more fun to play these games for short intervals than it was to take ten bucks and beat it in one sitting.

When the industry shifted and arcades died out, many developers tried to remake their classic beat-'em-ups for the home market. Some turned out to be decent titles, but all of them had one thing in common: repetition outweighed their replay value.

Consequently, another shift has taken place. Developers see constant enemy butt-kicking as a negative. They can't change that or else it wouldn't be a beat-'em-up anymore, but they can (and do) add other gameplay styles to try and mix things up.

Final Fight: Streetwise brings the classic SNES hit back from the dead. At first glance it feels like it walked right off the 16-bit gaming truck. All the classics make their return: perishable weapons, health-increasing soda cans, and a never-ending list of dumb enemies with ridiculously large life bars. Most of the enemies look and fight exactly the same. Most can be stumped with a block and countered with a four-hit combo. Most carry weapons that make defeating them even easier.

If this game were any more retro we'd still be living in 1991. That's the high point of the game. Streetwise is repetitive from the start, but how could anyone expect otherwise? Anyone who played action games during the 16-bit era should have at least a brief memory of the series. Nostalgia is what this update plays on, and it's what intrigued me about it in the first place.

Given that this is a PlayStation 2 game with PlayStation 2 expectations, Streetwise is considerably longer than its predecessors. Streetwise uses a mission layout similar to Grand Theft Auto. You have a small amount of freedom to do what you want, but to keep moving forward certain objectives must be completed. Whether required or optional, the objectives vary from mission to mission. Beat up a thug to gain information. Beat up another thug to gain access to a locked room. Beat up a third thug to gain access to another locked room. Protect a street bum by beating up ...

You get the picture. They don't call 'em beat-'em-ups for nothing.

Knives, chairs and baseball bats are common items that'll help you in combat. Cash is everywhere and may be earned in a few different ways. The first way to earn it is to locate it. People drop money all the time in this world, it seems. Finding a five-dollar bill might not seem too exciting, but it adds up fast. Another way is to defeat enemies who have cash on them. How do you know what they're worth? You don't. But if an enemy appears, it's unlikely you'd want leave anyway. It's better to stay and fight, even when low on health. They can't hit you from behind if you're facing them.

The third way to earn money is by completing side missions (beat up additional thugs), and the fourth way is by playing mini-games. I'll save that one for last.

Once you've earned enough dough, drop by the gym to learn more moves. Spend a few hundred dollars and you'll be shown a new attack or combo. The health and instinct bars may be increased by purchasing special upgrades. (Instinct power may be triggered to perform additional moves.) Lastly you can upgrade your attack and defense status.

Got extra cash and don't know what to do with it? Stop by a convenience store and buy an instinct-reviving bottle of whisky. Yes, you heard right. Pizza revives health, as does soda and other fast food items.

Stop by one of the weapons shops to purchase some brass knuckles. Or go all out and get a shotgun. There's no question that Streetwise spreads more bloodshed than its predecessors. Capcom's trademark "This game contains scenes of explicit violence and gore" warning appears before the title screen, and they're not kidding. Though I wouldn't compare Streetwise to Resident Evil, this game does have an excessive amount of violence. Every enemy defeated – whether shot, punched, or hit over the head with a bat – leaves behind temporary bloodstains. Faces turn red, bruised, and look downright abused.

I could complain that as detailed the human destruction is none of it looks overly realistic, but I'll reserve this complaint for something a little more troubling. Back in the day Final Fight was a game that everyone could play. Violence was kept to a minimum. You could trash the enemies all you wanted, but without blood being smeared on the wall. I know the assumption must be that if we're old enough to remember the original Final Fight we must be old enough to play Grand Theft Auto. But just because we play Grand Theft Auto doesn't mean we want every game to be just like it.

Streetwise gives you the option to beat up street bums, hookers, and pretty much everyone else you come in contact with. Your rating drops for picking on the innocent, a feature I'm glad they included. However, was the option to beat up bums even necessary? Again, the original did not include anything like this. We may be in different times now, but that doesn't mean I want to see Mega Man blowing up zombies. By that same token I wouldn't want to see Jill Valentine picking flowers when she should be battling Umbrella. Some things shouldn't change.

Before I move on, I must also note that it is relatively easy to accidentally hit an innocent person while trying to attack an enemy. It's also easy to punch someone by mistake when talking to them. The triangle button initiates conversation. If they have more than one thing to say, pressing the X button forwards their text. If they only have one thing to say, the controller layout goes back to combat – pressing the X button at this time punches the person you're talking to! Your rating drops, and you feel like an idiot.

Streetwise's biggest mistake is a result of its desire to be less repetitive: mini-games. Add variety? Not a chance. The mini-games add to the repetition! Some are forced and frustrating. Others are optional, but you'll miss out on extra cash if you don't complete them. There are Lights Out-style puzzles (3x3 grid, turn all the lights on in three turns), slide puzzles (I hate those), an unstable dartboard, an even less stable shooting gallery, and countless others that are similar and/or worse in one way or the other. One of the mini-games has you stomping on cockroaches. I think I speak for everyone when I say, "What the heck!?" Another has you throwing garbage cans. Not at someone, you just throw them. And then they're destroyed.

 
“Yeah I’m cool! I’m tough! You bet your button-mashing mechanics I am!”

Where did these come from, and why are they making us play them?

They likely came from the classic car destruction mini-game. It's been revived for Streetwise, but it just isn't the same.

While a part of me likes the nostalgic value Final Fight: Streetwise has to offer, it's not a game I'm dying to go back to. The repetitive combat might've worked if that was all there was to it, but the unnecessary addition of blood and gore is somewhat disappointing. Furthermore, the mini-games are a disaster. I don't think anyone plays a beat-'em-up hoping to have 60 seconds to stomp on 16 cockroaches. When gamers want something along those lines, they play WarioWare.

Gameplay: 5.0
The update to Capcom’s classic action game is a bit beat up. Repetition is acceptable when you expect it (and really like the genre). It’s not, however, a welcome addition when mini-games are the only thing thrown in to mix up the experience. In some ways it plays like a game that doesn’t know what it wants to be. Regardless of how the average gamer perceives, there’s little doubt that players will think of Final Fight: Streetwise as a top-tier puzzler. I can’t call it a top-tier beat-‘em-up either.

Graphics: 6.0
Clunky camera work, boring animations, bland backgrounds. We’ve seen worse and will continue to see worse (that’s the nature of art, I suppose). But we’ve also seen games that look a whole lot better.

Sound: 6.5
Decent music from several well-known artists. Attack sounds are very 16-bit – not unrealistic per se, but definitely not realistic.

Difficulty: Easy/Medium
Saying “Medium” is pushing it. Streetwise is a mostly easy game.

Concept: 4.0
Streets of Repetition. Final Fight: Streetwise must not be that wise after all. If it were, it would’ve left the excess fat (mini-games, blood and gore, etc.) behind. The original is a much better experience, but this update makes one point perfectly clear: this style of gameplay has aged a lot over the years, and there has yet to be a game that has been able to revive it.

Multiplayer: 5.0
Streets of Repetition … for two. It’s co-op and oh-so-nostalgic, but its fun is as limited as the single-player experience.

Overall: 5.0
This is one of those games you’ll look forward to, have a brief amount of fun with, and then wonder what went wrong. How a game can be entertaining one minute and blasphemous the next is just, well, blasphemous. If I could scrap the mini-games Streetwise still wouldn’t be worth much more than a 6. For $10 worth of quarters, I’m there. But at $40 retail, I’ll pass.