American Chopper

American Chopper is a strange game considering where its source material came from.  Objectively the missions are reminiscent of Grand Theft Auto 3.  Grand theft auto is out – stealing rides isn't part of an American Chopper's balanced diet.  Running from the cops, however, is a good way to stay in shape.  Contrary to what Atkins says, it's good to have carbs, so be sure to ride with an extra large biker every now and then (one of the missions asks you to deliver someone to a specific location without crashing).  You'd be smart to avoid the greens though.  Hitting the grass will only slow you down.

Race through a somewhat busy highway without turning yourself into road graffiti.  Cruise down a typical city road while avoiding confrontation with the police.  Complete the tasks: locate someone important, race against a competitor, or keep up with a cocky racer who says "you lose!" if you pass him.  These are generic tasks in their most polished form, tasks that few would want to complete even when placed inside a game they love.  When placed inside a game that uses nothing but them, the results are less than satisfying.  When these generic tasks are in their worst form (as they are here), the results are far, far worse.

If only it played as exciting as it looks… 

If nothing else, first-time players will be able to say that the worlds are big and appropriate for this type of game.  They'll also be able to say that the missions are like everything they've seen before.  Due to the lack of speed and excitement, motorcycle races seem like a bike ride in the park.  The visuals aren't too spectacular, repeating environments in some circumstances.  Generally all that you'll see is a bunch of bland buildings in.  American Chopper tries to emulate the Grand Theft Auto series' cool graphics by applying a similar soft focus/blur effect during high-speed chases.  It would have been pretty impressive if the graphics underneath were anything to look at.

Regarding the high-speed chases, it's not at all difficult to win them or avoid them altogether.  Winning is accomplished by putting the pedal to the metal and not giving up.  Fearing that you'll crash into a motor vehicle, you may choose to carefully weave in and out of traffic, braking and accelerating when the time is right.  American Chopper makes such actions unnecessary.  There are only two times when you'll need to use the brake button: (1) when you arrive at your destination and (2) when making your way through narrow streets.

Continue driving like an out of control maniac and the cops will eventually back off.  That's right, instead of enlisting in the help of more squad cars.  Instead of getting the media involved, or asking for an experienced trucker to lend a helping hand (as police do in real high-speed chases), the police will give up.  I'm no rocket scientist, but where's the sense in having the police in a game if they're not going to be used to hinder the player's success?  At the very least they could encourage me to watch my speed limit.  I won't even bother knowing I can just outrun them. 

(If you're not as adventurous as I am, slow down every time you see a cop on your radar.  He may see you drive over the line, go through a stop sign, etc., it doesn't matter.  Assuming you drive slow enough, he'll turn a blind eye and continue toward the local donut shop.)

American Chopper's controls are as choppy as they come.  They're so bad the game borders on being unplayable.  Steering is neither smooth nor realistic nor tight and arcade-like.  It's hard to define how the game steers, except to say that it's awkward and not at all what you'd expect from a driving game.

Gameplay: 5
American Chopper?  More like American Snoozer.  Without questions, fans will walk away from this game feeling most disappointed.  You'll object to completing mission objectives that include boring tasks like driving two and from designated buildings.  The race missions are boring, and the controls are nearly as bad as the clunky 2D racers designed for the NES.

Graphics: 5
Ugly cut scenes that should have been cut and monotonous environments with unattractive scenery.  This is one of the worst-looking PlayStation 2 games released in a long time.  The most basic launch titles looked better.

Sound: 5

Difficulty: 
If "very easy" comes before "cakewalk," what comes after it...?

Concept: 3
Take one hit TV show, several bad game ideas and mix 'em together for a game that gives us another reason to be skeptical any new game that retails for less than $40.

Overall: 5
The old saying, "You get what you pay for" does not apply to the game industry.  We've played $60 games that were horrendous, and we've played $20 games that could have sold at a much higher price and still been worth every penny.  American Chopper falls somewhere in between.  Most retailers are charging $30 for it, but the disappointing gameplay, unintuitive controls, and the lackluster bike building system make it impossible to enjoy at any price point.