Okay, I have a confession to make . . . I’m mesmerized by wrestling.  Perhaps it’s the fact that I had little contact with the sport (if you can call it that) in the UK but coming to America I was instantly hooked on wrestling and then, of course, wrestling games.  While it was certainly fun to see Hulk Hogan lay the smack down on the likes of Andre the Giant, let’s face it, today’s wrestling fans are glad that the WWE franchise tossed in some lovely ladies into the mix.  Let’s face it, we much rather watch Stephanie McMahon in the ring than Vince McMahon and why not just forget the scantily clad men altogether and replace them with the gorgeous scantily clad grappling ladies.  I’m getting ahead of myself here but if you think the same way I do you’ll be glad to know that so does Konami.  Rumble Roses features an all-female cast of wrestlers and we couldn’t be happier.  It’s also one of the most original and oddball wrestling games to come along so please read. 

Rumble Roses is outrageous.  Rumble Roses is unashamed of depicting a collection of beautiful, shapely and strong women in the most unusual and quite revealing outfits that are better suited for a gentlemen’s club (hence the M rating).  Rumble Roses also doesn’t take itself seriously and much rather immerse the player in its campy appeal and off-the-wall characters than just be a game with a lot of cheesecake that only appeals to young teen males.  Konami knows that Xbox gamers enjoy the DOA games because of its ladies and knows that the PS2 crowd loves the recent WWE SmackDown! series now that it features the Bra and Panties matches.  Yet aside from these things, we’re drawn to a wrestling game for the mere pleasure of the wrestling itself.  Rumble Roses happens to do the wrestling part right, which makes this game a nice rarity. 

The game is composed of a limited amount of game modes, which already might not sit well with those gamers use to a bevy of match types (no tag team or ladder or free for all).  The Exhibition mode only has two wrestlers going head to head in a normal match and then there’s a Mad Mud Match (mud wrestling at last) and finally there’s Title Match (but that only opens up when a champion wrestler becomes available after completing Story Mode).  There’s even a Gallery Mode, but this simply offers a Soul Caliber II-styled profile and view (including theme music and vocal phrases) of each grappler. 

The next mode is Story Mode, which offers different story scenarios for each girl.  You’ll start with a roster of up to ten girls but you’ll be able to unlock more including each girl’s alter ego (we‘ll get to that a bit later, though).  The characters themselves are out of the ordinary and many of them are really quite bizarre.  You’ll meet a wrestler named Miss Spencer who just so happens to be a history teacher out to teach a rebellious pupil a lesson . . . in the ring.  You’ll meet a Brittany Spears-type pop diva that just can’t let go of the fact that her old high school rival, Dixie Clements, is still so much more popular than her even though she’s the one with a Grammy.  There’s Candy Cane who enters the tournament to save her orphanage so she dresses up like a Catholic schoolgirl gone wild and admittedly plays dirty to win.  And then there’s Evil Rose who, um, well she’s just plainly madcap.  While each story isn’t very deep or makes sense half the time, it’s still interesting and fun to watch as it unfolds. 

As far as the grappling system is concerned, Konami employs a slightly modified version of Yuke’s SmackDown! engine.  Each lovely grappler has her own specialty move and unleashing them isn’t too hard to figure out.  It’s even easy for gamers new to the genre to pick up and start pulling off moves like backbreakers, pile drivers, submissions and close-lines.  There are three types of finishing moves you can use with the L1 and L2 buttons: Killer, Lethal and Humiliation moves.  Unleashing the Killer and Lethal moves will result in you character pulling off a specialty move that can seriously put the hurt on your opponent until she either gives up or is too dazed to defend herself.  Humiliation moves are just that . . . moves that result in a brief animation of your opponent suffering something quite humiliating (and hilarious).   

The game also introduces something called the VOW system that allows players to accept a list of agreements set before certain matches.  You’ll be asked to complete a certain tasks like carrying out a Killer move successfully or winning the match after suffering a Letha move.  Depending on whether you completed a vow or broke it intentionally (or unintentionally) a Vow System gauge appears at the end of the match that adds points to your Face of Heel Gauge rating.  If the gauge shifts to the Heel side you’ll be able to unlock a character’s alter ego (which not only offers a different costume but also a bad girl persona to said character).  For example, Miss Spencer turns into the wicked Mistress Spencer while Evil Rose becomes Noble Rose (her good girl persona) if you concentrate on her Face Gauge.   

Graphically speaking, Rumble Roses is quite the visual spectacle and yes I’m talking about the amazing character models.  The ladies are, after all, the main attraction and it’s surprising to see how each character is thoroughly detailed to the point that you’ll make out birthmarks and each wrinkle.  The animation is smooth and as a result the character movements are realistic and so are their facial reactions.  You won’t find many clipping problems in this game and many of the effects work nicely.  The environments are pretty nice as well since fights take place both in a ring as well as a beach setting for the mud-wrestling matches.  

Unfortunately, the voice acting isn’t as good as it should have been and many of the accents are quite baffling.  Anesthesia is billed as a Latin character but her accent is a muddled English one and Dixie Clements sound more Southern than Texas bred.  Yet the rest of the voices seem to fit the other characters despite the bad accents and their theme music, while cheesy, are perfect for each character.   

Rumble Roses is a fascinating and highly amusing wrestling game that will surely become a guilty pleasure for those wrestling fans that prefer their grapplers more curvy than muscular.  Despite the fact that the story in the game’s Story mode isn’t exactly deep, it’s the wrestling action and uniqueness of each wrestler that will win fighting fans over.    

Gameplay: 8.0
Yuke’s SmackDown! engine is altered enough to be recognizable but simple enough that gamers new to the wrestling genre will be able to pick up the controller and easily pull off some complex moves like pile drivers and turnbuckle leaps into your opponent.  The finishing moves are quite a blast to unleash and I haven’t had this much fun pinning my opponent since the WWE games prominently featured all their Divas.  Rumble Roses isn’t big on game modes, though, but the story mode is at least enjoyable.  

Graphics: 9.2
Visually, Rumble Roses is quite a treat to watch for those gamers that appreciate beautifully rendered and meticulously detailed characters--particularly those Xbox owners that bought DOA Xtreme Beach Volleyball not for the volleyball itself.  Yes, the ladies are the main attraction and they are incredibly detailed.  The backgrounds are pretty nice as well but I’m sure many of you won’t notice it. 

Sound: 6.2
The voice acting is, unfortunately, a disappointment although somehow the voices for most of the girls seem to fit them like a glove.  Aside from some really oddball accents and unintentionally hilarious readings of the dialogue, the entrance music for each girl does them justice . . . although much of what you’ll hear is exceedingly cheesy.  The sounds of the grapplers being tossed into the mat are good but not great.   

Difficulty: Medium
Executing some really fancy moves in the ring isn’t incredibly hard to do but completing every VOW successfully might take some work.  Story mode starts off easy but gets harder the farther you climb up the ladder so expect to be challenged. 

Concept: 8.5
Apart from the obvious eye candy that make up the gorgeous rumbling roses, you’ll have a hard time not enjoying the fact that you can manipulate the ladies to the point of bringing out their alter ego.  The finishing moves for each girl is also a treat to watch and great to unleash thanks to the slightly modified SmackDown! engine.  There’s even the best mud wrestling sequences ever and those outfits . . . wild stuff. 

Multiplayer: 7.0
The multiplayer option is a two-player only deal and it works out quite nicely indeed.  However, having a neat assortment of lovely grapplers and not being able to put at least four up on the screen in a tag team match is just a shame and you don’t even want to know what I think about the exclusion of an online game (especially when SmackDown! Vs. Raw includes one).  

Overall: 8.0
Rumble Roses is by far one of the most unusual and surprisingly satisfying wrestling games and those fighting fans that don’t mind a little tease will highly enjoy this one.  While it might not be big on story or include the likes of WWE themed matches like cage or tag team matches, you’ll enjoy the guilty pleasures of watching these ladies hit the mat.  Consider this one if you want a fighting game that’s unique.