You know you're in store for quite a game when it has a note about its creepy content written on the disc.  "For a really disturbing image...flip disc over."

I'll let you think about that one for a minute.  If you're still baffled, pick up any PS2 disc and do as the game says.

Now that milk has been shot from your nose, it's time to learn about a tale of a wisecracking bard who loves to make wisecracks.  His tale is not entirely unlike that of his brothers and sisters, the men and women who star in other RPGs.  This story, however, doesn't follow the stereotypes that the genre has created – it makes fun of them. 

The story is long but very entertaining.  Where else can you see a bunch of drunks break into song?  And rhyme, no less, and do it with a certain amount of hilarity.  The voice acting is some of the best I've heard in an RPG, carrying the game through the entire time.  Without good acting the story would have had to be done in text, and while that used to be acceptable, there's so much more that can be conveyed in the spoken word.

I'll play a semi-decent RPG if it has a spectacular story, so I was thrilled to discover that I wouldn't have to suffer with The Bard's Tale.  I'd see it through because of the story, but the gameplay, which consists of real-time action, is very entertaining.  Think of Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance.  Now enlarge the characters and environments.  Add more gameplay options and a good graphics engine, and you've got one of the best RPGs of the year.

When in combat, the Bard has his trusty sword at his side, as well as a magical instrument.  The instrument sounds quirky and does at first not appear to be any more magical than the instruments of other RPGs.  Try out a song and you'll just how magical it really is.  A rat pops out and runs into a bar!

Screams are heard.  People are freaked.  Then the Bard comes in to "magically" save the day.

Unfortunately for the Bard it isn't that simple.  His rat is a summon monster, which he can use and control (to a degree) in battle.  There's another rat though, and this one must be killed.  When he runs downstairs to take it out, he does so successfully, triggering a nice cut scene honoring his success.  But then, oh no – behind you The Bard, behind you! 

Take that you evil being you!

Saying much more would spoil the game's greatest moments.  Rest assured that the thing behind him is something large and expected.  The following cut scenes will make you burst into laughter, there's no question of that.

At the start of the game, long before the first battle begins, players can increase their character's statistics in six different categories: Strength, Vitality, Luck, Dexterity, Charisma, and Rhythm.  These categories are self-explanatory, but since Rhythm is a new one, I'll tell you that it increases the Bard's magical tune skill.  Adding to the number of Rhythm points enhances the strength and abilities of the summoned creatures.

Most RPGs have a one-size-fits-all difficulty setting.  The Bard's Tale gives you three: Easy, Normal, and Olde School.  As you can imagine, Olde School is the most difficult, providing only four points of skill under each category (strength, vitality, etc.).  Easy, on the other hand, gives you eight.  Regardless of the difficulty you choose, 12 skill points are available and can be dispersed in any way you please.

Before the quest can begin, players have one more option to choose: the Bard's talent.  His talents are varied and in great abundance, but you only get one at first.  The rest have to be acquired through battling.

Your choices include:

§         Two-handed Weapons (use large weapons)

§         Dual Wield (wield a dirk and a sword)

§         Flail (allows you to equip a flail)

§         Shield Bash (automatically bash with shield after blocking)

§         Riposte (counterattack for Dual Wield)

§         Heavy Parry (counterattack for Two-handed Weapons)

§         Shield Charge (stun enemies)

§         Blade Dash (deadly charge attack)

§         Spinning Smash (two-handed weapon attack)

§         Whirlwind (stuns enemies, used with Flail skill)

§         Power Shot (ranged attack)

§         Arrow Storm (ranged attack)

§         Critical Strike (gives the Bard a chance to inflict a critical hit)

§         Improved Critical Strike (improves chances of scoring an even deadlier critical hit)

§         Treasure Hunter (gives the Bard bonus coins for any treasure he finds)

The summon creatures are one of the best things about the game.  Once summoned, the creatures can be influenced to your advantage.  You don't have complete control over them, but pressing the D-pad in various directions will result in different motions and attacks from the creature.   

There are a lot of RPGs on the market that resemble The Bard's Tale, but after playing it yourself you'll see that there is only one Bard's Tale.  Accept no imitations, except for the mock version they pretended to but didn't actually leak.  I believe they called it The Bird's Tale.

Sarcasm rules the day in this game.  (That last bit was a joke to the developers.)  Gameplay does, too.  No one who enjoys RPGs will not enjoy The Bard’s Tale.  It’s got everything you desire from the genre: great characters, a great story, addictive gameplay, and a quirky soundtrack that you won’t find in any other game released this year.
 

Gameplay: 8.5
The Bard's Tale is an action/RPG all the way.  The quick menus (hit one of the four shoulder buttons to bring up a different menu) make attack, item and spell selections a fast and effortless task.  Combat is addictive with its unique summon monster system.  Even simple item collecting has become entertaining thanks to the story, which constantly pumps the player full of laugh-out-loud jokes.  It's nice to know the game industry has finally realized that the theater isn't the only place you have to go for a good laugh.

Graphics: 8
Well-detailed and well represented.  The characters are appropriately exaggerated, just as they are in any other RPG.  The difference here is that it's all done for comedic purposes.  If it's an RPG cliché, chances are you'll see it get mocked in The Bard's Tale.

Sound: 8.5
Have you ever heard good voice acting in an RPG before?  Once, maybe?  And it usually includes at least one character you can't stand, correct?

Get ready for The Bard's Tale.  It voice acting is top-of-the-line.  The characters are great, and the narrator is absolutely hilarious.

Difficulty: Medium
If this medium difficulty isn't tough enough for your tastes, try the Olde School setting.

Concept: 9
Unique ideas, original storyline, and an excellent battle system with unique features.  This is the kind of game I've been waiting for.

Overall: 8.6
Gamers who have played the latest Paper Mario have discovered a hilarious RPG that’s funny but in a family-friendly, let’s-make-fun-of-Mario sense.  The Bard’s Tale is the other end of the spectrum.  The content is not too different from that of a PG-13 movie, with innuendo and plenty of adult jokes.  The story mocks the genre as a whole, not just one particular group of characters.  If you have both GameCube and PlayStation 2, you shouldn’t be without either Paper Mario or The Bard’s Tale.  The game in question now, however, is The Bard’s Tale, and when you compare it to other PS2 RPGs you see that there simply is no comparison.