Cy Girls

Reviewer: Carlos McElfish
Reviewed Date: 4/02/2004

Proof that a gamer’s job isn’t always fun and games.

There are a few reasons that Cy Girls caught my eye when it came time to ration out this months shipment of games.  One, the game’s developer.  Konami isn’t exactly your fly-by-night operation.  Two, the abundance of hype for Cy Girls in gaming magazines as it approached retail release was another determining factor.  But mostly it was the unspoken promise of futuristic cyber babes in revealing outfits that prompted me to request this title. 

Well, that’s the last time I base my review selections on the unsubstantiated hype of videogame magazines or a title’s potential sex appeal (although Dead or Alive Volleyball did pay off in spades).  Because, frankly, Cy Girls is a disappoint.  “How can this be, Señor Carlitos?”  I hear you asking.  Listen up, my little enchiladas.  The control system is slow and unresponsive.  The progression is mercilessly plodding.  Its graphics, which looked so stylish, sexy and cool in the screenshots are incredibly disappointing in motion.  And, as if you needed another reason to avoid Cy Girls at the checkout counter, you are forced to undergo tedious backtracking through repetitive corridors that are lined with doors that you can’t actually go through.

The story in Cy Girls revolves around two female crime fighters named Ice and Aska.  These virtual vixens dish out their own ultra-stylish form of justice via an assortment of guns and swords.  Ice uses firepower and Aska relies on swords to lay waste to the hordes of recycled enemies that are perpetually thrown their way.  This is a two-disc set; each DVD contains one of the two playable characters along with their unique storyline.  Ice is your typical supermodel-esque/uber-hacker whose goal is to infiltrate an all-important company database.  Aska is bent on revenge and seeks to hunt down the people responsible for the death of her father.  In any case, outside of some surprisingly well-made CGI cutscenes, the storylines don’t do much to make the tedious gameplay and constant button-mashing something you’ll want to endure in the hopes of finding out what happens next.  Don’t let the dual-disc gimmick fool you.  Each DVD is essentially the same experience.

The combat in the game is pretty much the highlight of the experience, which isn’t saying much.  When enemies appear on-screen, Ice’s targeting reticule will automatically lock on to them, you need only hit the R1 or circle button to shoot.  Aska’s sword swinging method of combat is far more effective than Ice’s affinity for ranged weaponry -- she can kill pretty much any nearby enemy instantly just by smashing on the attack button repeatedly.  Occasionally, a boss fight will challenge you to actually pay attention to what you’re doing, but for the most part combat is extremely cut-and-dry. 

But it’s the game’s inclination to force the player to backtrack through an area multiple times per level that frustrated me the most.  Nearly every objective in the game asks you to turn around and go back the way you came to retrieve a particular item or key.  And it doesn’t help that when you do return to previous areas the placement of every object is returned to their default arrangement, making you question if you’re even in the right area.  This is 2004, tedious search-and-retrieve exercises shouldn’t be something that gamers have to contend with in this day and age.  Every now and then you’ll get to jack into terminals where Ice and Aska kick butt in a virtual cyber-representation of the current level.  These sequences are actually pretty cool – allowing you to use an assortment of martial arts techniques to dispatch security programs.  Unfortunately, they are also few and far in between.

Visually, Cy Girls looks quite impressive, until you un-pause the game.  The monotonous-looking levels that are chock full of repeating background objects tend to blend into one another.  Texture quality is passable but far too recycled across many of the game’s environments.  Character models, with the exception of Ice and Aska, are designed with very little thought to, well, much of anything, really.  Their animation seems highly restricted, their design is simple and dull, and they all have this annoying extended death sequence when you shoot them that’ll make you stand in front of their slowly-falling body and wonder if they’re actually dying or looking for their respirator.  And, of course, no sub-par action game would be complete without a camera-system that hates you.

The sound presentation doesn’t fare much better than the graphics -- with its generic sound effects, a frequently repeating soundtrack, and some truly cringe-worthy voice-acting.  Even the game’s main characters, Aska and Ice, both sound as if their lines are being delivered under heavy medication.  Enemies constantly yell out the same things whenever they see you, NPC characters that you come across sound as if they’re purposely trying to irritate you, and the ceaseless droning on of your remote-assistance colleague will make you glad your television provides support for mute. 

If you’re in the mood for some repetitive backtracking and a little thumb-numbing button-mashing with a side order of pre-rendered animation sequences, then by all means pick this game up.  Just don’t be surprised when you have to backtrack to the store to get your money back.  Cy Girls is just no fun for anyone who has already played this game a hundred times before when it was called <insert generic action game name here>. 

Gameplay: 6.1

Sluggish, unresponsive, and slow.  Luckily, all you got to do to win is constantly hammer on the “shoot” button.

Graphics: 5.9
Don’t let the screenshots fool you, Cy Girls ain’t pretty in motion.

Sound: 5.4

Boring, repetitive, and potentially irritating.

Concept: 4.2

Let’s see, run down identical-looking corridors and shoot identical-looking soldiers and repeat.  Yah, no.

Overall: 4.8

Cy Girls feels like pretty much every other action game that failed to make a lasting impression in recent years.